Every Cloud has an Aluminum Lining: Musings on poverty

Economic crisis! Stock market plummets! Bail-outs! Bernard Madoff! Socialism!

People are freaked out about the state of our money stuff these days. Turn on any news program or open a publication and there's some jack-ass, red in the face, telling me how bad things are. Change the channel and there's another jack-ass telling me how bad things are going to be.

It turns out that these are some of the best times to be poor.

Think about it. Our streets don't look like 17- or 18th-century English period movies anymore. Seldom does a crippled child, dressed in rags come up to me and ask for two bits or a ha'penny. Maybe that's because I live in a relatively recession-proof area, but that's not my point, dammit!
See, when you're poor like I'm poor you're able to find joy in the smallest, stupidest things around you. For instance, today my new $11 26.0mm Kalloy Uno seatpost arrived and I couldn't be happier. A richer man wouldn't be happy with anything less than a Thomson, or, as this savvy poster on Bikeforums.net found, a carpet fiber seatpost (isn't technology amazing?). Not for me. I don't care if it's full carpet fiber or just carpet fiber-wrapped, just give me my $11 Kalloy.

Another free opiate or the masses, the internet, of course. More specifically: StumbleUpon. Talk about your countless hours of free entertainment. It was on StumbleUpon where a coworker of mine found this little gem. On this site you can plaster your face all over stuff until your little, narcissistic heart is content.

Here I made Brad Pitt a Times Square Target ad for no reason:

Here's one fore the ladies:
Would a rich guy find this as amusing as I do? Hell no! He'd be too busy trying to look like David Beckham (I'm pretty sure that's David Beckham) so he could get on a Times Square Target ad. Or maybe he'd like it. I don't know. I've only met a few rich people. The point is this: We're in the 21st century. We have free entertainment up to our ears, $1 Junior Bacon Cheeseburgers up to our colons, and enough beer cans in my back yard to take to the recycling place and turn in to buy more beer.

Bring on the economic apocalypse!