Friday, June 19, 2009

Contest: Oddities from the Streets on Albuquerque

Kris and Justin's Magic Power Hour proudly presents:
Kris and Justin's Magic Power Hour's Oddities from the Streets of Albuquerque photo contest! Brought to you by the fine people at Baconnaise.

Here's how this is going to work, Folks:
You are walking around our fine city and you spot something strange, odd or completely messed up. Just snap a picture and send it to K&J's MPH and you're entered!

All submissions will be reviewed by Kris and Justin personally!

The winner will be announced on Saturday, July 4th and will receive an autographed 40oz bottle of Mickey's Malt Liquor (with valid ID, or something)!!!

So, get to snapping! You only have a couple of weeks.
And they better be good, dammit!

No purchase necessary. Valid in Albuquerque only. Void where prohibited. See packaging for details.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Slacking seems to be in my nature

So kris and I ( correct grammar fuckers) started this blog with great intentions! This blog was to be so huge that we would never have to work ( or pretend to work) again. Unfortunately having your own blog is not quite as easy as I had assumed. We put in long hours trying to come up with creative things for you to read. 

Recently it was Kris' birthday. To protest him not attending my 21st birthday party I didn't go to his 34th. I heard good things. Someone made bad decision with an un-named girl. I wont go into details but I hear he has decided to quit drinking because of it.

I got this sweet ass downhill rig, unfortunately I believe the life of it shall be spent riding down stairs at unm, considering all recent riding plans have fallen through.

I currently sit at my computer, sore, and skin missing from my fingers. You see, Tommy and I have started rock climbing and it has turned out to be quite an adventure. Climbing is more of a workout than just about anything you will even do. I  suggest giving it a shot.

And speaking of shots god friend and fellow blogger Carlos Jesus of dpd spent the day in the shop with us. We tried to go buy minis of rum. After my completely valid ID was rejected at the first gas station, we continued to a package liquor store, which didn't actually exist. Apparently bars wont serve to-go cups of rum. we tried another gas station which also told me my ID was illegal to take. Fuck gas stations. CJ went back into the original gas station and bought the minis without me. We went to taco bell and bought pina colada frutistas and viola. A perfect combo for a slow day at work, which also happened to be Kristopher's birthday.

anyway. If you haven't seen him, wish the dude a happy birthday.

Awkward Body Noises: Random Thought of the Day vol. 2

Situation: When your foot slides on something or you sit in a leather chair and it makes a fake-fart sound. Someone calls you out on being rude and breaking wind.

You response is usually, "No, it wasn't me! My foot did this..."

Ever notice how you can never make that sound again intentionally.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

The Sights, Sounds and Smells of Albuquereque: Jane, get me off this crazy thing!

I need to preface this post with three things:
  1. This lack of posting is causing me great concern. Am I losing those creative juices?
  2. I'm back from my odyssey in Denver. I will write about my adventures in the near future. Holla.
  3. My vegetarian post that all of you hate me for mysteriously disappeared. You're lucky!

Every city or town has the "Only in Blahblahblah..." stories. Having lived in Boulder, CO, I have quite a few from there. But none that I've heard from other places are as weird as the things I have heard in Albuquerque. It's true. If you've never visited the Duke City, give it 2 weeks on a bicycle and you'll agree.

What got this ball of weirdness rolling in my mind was a peculiar sight I saw yesterday while in my friend's car driving down San Mateo. Picture this: Ford F-150 parked in the left lane, hazard lights a-flashin', man (presumably driver) standing in the median holding aloft a portable gas tank and spilling its contents (presumably gas) onto the street.

That is a sight you don't see everyday, and it begs so many different questions (Most of them beginning in "Why the hell...?!?").

Commuting by bicycle in pretty much any city offers you a unique view of the city. A car will close you off from what is happening around you, but when you're on a bike, you're exposed to the world. Sometimes its uplifting, but usually it's a drag (My girlfriend recently has had a rash of people shouting "Bitch!").

Just today I was nearly run over by a huge boat of a car. The response from the woman in the car to my obligatory "What the hell?!?" was "It's cuz you're riding a bike and should be riding me." To my motorist readers: This is not a good way to entice a member of the opposite sex. Cyclists need to be loved and cared for. Ask us out to dinner or a moonlit stroll. Hitting us with your cars will only make us die.

Other bicycle related oddities:
I once got passed on Lomas by a van. A defiant middle-finger was jutting out of the passenger window. This is nothing unusual. The part that made me chuckle was that the side of the van proudly read "United Methodist Church". Silly theists.

The cop that yelled at my friends to "Get on the sidewalk!" as they were in the bike lane on San Pedro.

Blah. I have a bunch more, but I am in fact at work right now. It's not as boring here as it was when we started this trainwreck, er, blog. So, as I am very distracted now, I will leave it up to you. Post your strange stories in the comment section.

Silly Albuquerque.