Thursday, March 19, 2009

Turning your worthless 401k into dinner for 4: 10 easy recipes

To blow off steam during this time of economic downturn, I usually do one of three things:
  1. Take my aggressions out on the reader(s) of this blog (thanks Mom!)
  2. Do an angry dance number in a warehouse
  3. Or, go for a relaxing drive in my tank-dozer
Today, on the other hand, I am in an unusually good mood. Apart from dealing with the poop-factories I call coworkers, everything is coming up Milhouse.
It has a lot to do with the fact that recently I've taken the time to stop and notice the subtleties of life around me. For example, you are not allowed to check corpses onto a Greyhound bus (a fact the Justin eluded to yesterday with minor errors). Which begs the question: Was this rule made out necessity or just good ol' forward-thinking? Was Greyhound once plagued with travelers toting their deceased loved ones or did some maverick within the company foresee baggage compartments full of the fresh cadavers? Cremated remains are also out, but the site does not reference severed limbs. My advise to all the would-be carcass-transporters out there: Invest in a decent hacksaw.
Other baggage restrictions of note: Ammunition, furniture and materials with a disagreeable odor (which is highly subjective, in my opinion).
Another way to notice the beauty of your world is by seeing it through the eyes of someone else. Photography is a great way to see things in a way that you might not have otherwise. Unless that photography involves fixed-gear bicycles. I offer you exhibits A, B and C from the K & J's MPH Self-Indulgent Site of the Week, Fixed Gear Gallery. My complaint is as follows: If you are going to post pictures on a bicycle website and go into greatly detailed description of your bike, please post a picture of your bike. Not some quasi-artsy, "outside-the-box" bullshit that doesn't even look good...
See? I start talking about Fixed Gear Gallery and completely lose my cool.
Oh well. Maybe in these tough economic times people will start appreciating their old, crappy ten-speeds the way they are.

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